The Burden of Knowing [Simon, Tehodis] May 28, 2018 0:04:09 GMT -7
Post by Endless Laeretti on May 28, 2018 0:04:09 GMT -7
Endless clenched his fists. Now or never, huh? That's how it was going to be?
He had to wonder why he was trying so hard. In his head, he kept chasing after the friendship he remembered with Tehodis. Even before having his memories completely restored, he knew that it was there. He could feel it, whenever he thought back to her. It was part of why he had been so hurt back then when she had just stopped showing up to their little meetings. Why he had gotten sick of being in Submiere at all, and took off. He felt it again when they reconnected, when he helped her catch that criminal. That memory of friendship that had once been there. And he thought she had felt it too. Enough for her to have painted him into an image despite not even remembering him properly.
But Tehodis had arrested him shortly afterward, for a petty reason. Sure, he'd been the one to come forward about his past theft but that was only because Tehodis had been painting him up to be some noble soul in their chats, and he needed her to know he wasn't perfect. She'd been nice enough to him in prison but was still the one who put him there. She came calling for him when she was at death's door because she knew he could save her, and now she wanted nothing to do with what their actual shared past was.
Maybe the girl who had tried to sacrifice herself for him and treated him with love and understanding despite only knowing him for a short time... maybe she really was just, not there anymore. He had important information, genuinely vital stuff, and she couldn't even trust him well enough on that to give him proper attention, to set aside her discomfort with the past. That friendship he was chasing no longer existed, and she clearly didn't want it to.
"Fine," he spat back, shoulders hunching now. "If that's how you want it, then not at all it is."
He didn't want to look at her right now, so he turned and stormed out, slamming the door behind him. In the back of his mind he told himself that Simon at least didn't deserve him treating his property like that, but whatever. He was mad. He was mad at Tehodis for not being the person he wanted her to be anymore. He was mad at himself for bothering with any of this, for returning to Submiere when he had a feeling it would have been a bad idea. For not simply staying with Simon back when they'd met the first time. He'd felt cozy here, then, and Simon seemed like he would have been willing to let him stay. Maybe he could have been happy here.
He squatted down in the snow, watching the faint blue on the horizon that told of oncoming sunrise. And maybe Tehodis would have also died because without you in Submiere, how would she have found any help?
He may have been mad at her, but he didn't like that idea. He hung his head and fisted a hand in his hair. Tehodis didn't deserve to die. Few people did, honestly. He might have even overreacted back there. Her life was technically still in danger, even now, and he was choosing not to tell her about it because...
Because she's being a brat, he fumed. And so are you.
Well. There was no helping it if she didn't want to know. If she was going to be so resistant to the idea of even hearing it. But Endless supposed that even if the person he had once known no longer existed, that didn't change the fact that she had existed once upon a time. And she'd done everything she could to help him, even against his knowledge.
Silver eyes dropped back down to the snow-dusted earth, more and more patches of dirt becoming covered up as they progressed towards the Winter Storm. Winter was growing more harsh, and wouldn't start to break for another month or so. He remembered reading somewhere, in these past four years, that Fey creatures were most active once the snow receded. They preferred it that way. At the time, he couldn't really understand why he felt so compelled to want to read about fairies, but now he understood that it must have been his subconscious sending him a message.
He tried to do the math in his head. Technically speaking, it hadn't been nearly long enough for Haelrin to come after them. They had another 2-3 years, according to the time difference he'd been taught in the Feywild. But he'd also been told that especially egregious cases could sometimes compel Haelrin to grow a little less patient. A little more than half a year would have passed in the Feywild by now. And something in Endless's gut told him that penance was coming sooner, rather than later.
"She doesn't want to know about it... but I can't just leave her to the wolves, either..." he muttered, fingertips tracing shapes in the snow. He was beginning to cool off, at least.
He made a decision then. He'd be true to his words. Tehodis wouldn't be told at all, since that was what she wished for so desperately. And when he returned her to Submiere, he'd turn and leave and never look back. No point in pursuing anything further with her when she was so clearly against it. But out of respect for the person she used to be, he'd be trying to save her, regardless. He'd find a way. He'd research, he'd figure out a method for returning to the Feywild. He'd save Rill. And he'd... he didn't know how, but he'd find some way to make Haelrin stop. To leave Tehodis alone forever.
It wasn't fair that he could do whatever he wanted. It wasn't fair that he could just toy with mortals who wound up in his realm, just because they'd been tricked into going there to begin with. Nothing about Haelrin was fair. Endless had been atheistic for as long as he could remember, but new memories now reminded him that he had indeed learned of the existence of gods. And frankly speaking, Haelrin didn't make a strong case for their supposed benevolence. If the gods were anything like Haelrin, then they were nothing but super-powered bullies.
And Endless wasn't going to stand for it.