More Questions Than Answers || Open Feb 28, 2017 14:49:13 GMT -7
Post by Ellis Danton on Feb 28, 2017 14:49:13 GMT -7
The 11th of the Scales of Judgement
Sunset, Near a Creek in Atton
Ellis had fitful dreams after the action of the last few days. He would awake after each one, his skin coated in a sheen of cold sweat, his breath short, his mind aching.
He would dream about Kav'nok, and the Attonja village. At once Xanthe was run through with a blade - Ellis too slow to stop it. He felt her warm blood spatter onto his face, and as he grasped her wrists he could feel how slack they were. Her eyes looked dead as he tried to get her back, and just as quickly as he realized she wouldn't - the blade was in him. He awoke with his scar burning painfully, and tried his damndest to fall back asleep.
His next dream was of two trees - as he had dreamed so many times. The willow with its impeccable beauty, it's leaves dangling over his shoulders and leaving airy kisses against his cheeks. The jaosi s'na across from him, all jagged edges and flaking charcoal crust. It wasn't beautiful, and it's touch wasn't gentle -- but as he reached out and touched its thick branch he could feel a spark that filled him with purpose. The spark pulled him out, out, away from the willow, which wrapped it's spindly arms around his biceps to hold him back. He was being pulled between them, his skin and muscles stretching painfully as he tried to let go of both, to protect himself - and with a resounding pop of his joints he awoke in screaming pain once more, the fresh scar on his hand from Pelagia burning as he whined quietly into the pillow. He needed to fall back asleep.
Sleep wouldn't come to him, however. He felt divided, and he felt cruel. He felt like a traitor. He rolled from the bed and moved the canvas from the window to peek outside where the day was finally ending. He'd only found his bed in the early hours of the morning - four or five, he'd have guessed - and the fact that just now the sun was setting, he knew he hadn't slept enough. Not after the journey he had taken from the Attonja village to get here, not after what had happened with the Rielcian warlord - not after last night. When had he last slept? Days ago he'd been unconscious, so he supposed that was good enough. He couldn't see his own face, but there were certainly deep, dark bags under his eyes, and his cheeks felt hollower - more gaunt from exhaustion, and stress. Perhaps not enough to be worrisome, but enough that he was feeling every ounce of the fatigue.
He didn't want to see Xanthe today. He had connected with her so well last night, and she'd ensured him that their friendship wasn't over simply because he'd kept his promise - but after speaking with Pelagia, he felt almost as if a piece of him had betrayed his Attonian friend... Which was strange. He was merely doing as he ought to. Serving Pelagia - who was good news for Atton, anyways. And yet... Pledging himself to her so readily made him feel as though he had slighted Xanthe. Though, he didn't wish to see Pelagia today, either. Even if he was supposed to serve her more readily now - more than ever - his heart was trembling at the very idea. No, today he needed to do what he'd been doing for so long.
He needed to be alone.
And so, Ellis got himself dressed - in the Attonian garb he'd received from the village, his uniform was in bloody tatters - requested a day of provisions through Ilithiya - who was more than happy to aid him, but also needled him about what he was going to be doing - and then slunk off into the trees. As far as he could tell, neither Xanthe nor Pelagia had seen him. In fact, he hadn't seen either of them. He wondered briefly if they were together. It gave him a shiver just to think about.
He traveled for an hour before finally stopping, deciding he'd gone plenty far from the temple. Even if one were to simply go for a walk - which Xanthe might do - or a ride - which Pelagia might do - they weren't likely to stumble onto him now. It was by a small creek that he stopped, settling his bag onto the grass with a sigh and following behind it on his knees. He held his face in his hands for a moment, back hunched and elbows resting on his thighs, before releasing himself and looking up at the overcast sky. "I don't know what I'm doing," He told no one, his nerves dissipating in the kind silence of loneliness.
But he wouldn't be alone for long.